Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Loving Ourselves & Establishing Real Boundaries

Learning to set specific boundaries has been a very big part of my own evolution and growth along my personal journey towards optimum health and wholeness. Because I have always desired to be a kind, loving and accepting person, I have often found that life and others have often tried to trample, take advantage or abuse my loving intentions and acts of generosity.

It's been a painful and hard road for me (and for those who I have loved) because for the majority of my life I did not understand the importance of setting healthy boundaries for myself and for others. I know that many of us have struggled with this very issue, so even though this post deviates from my usual musings of food, I believe this topic has relevance in many areas of our lives. When we are clear about our needs and set those needs as a priority, we are not being mean, selfish or inconsiderate. It is only when we learn to love ourselves enough to nourish our own spirit and bodies that we are able to be truly generous with our love and compassion for others.

To respect and honor your authentic self, you must set personal boundaries. Your boundaries help define who you are and what you will and will not tolerate in your life. Learning to set boundaries often feels uncomfortable at first, but the process becomes more natural to you as you move into living and honoring your genuine self. You set boundaries with your professional peers, friends and family, emotional boundaries in virtually all aspects of your life, and spiritual boundaries as you embark on your life journey.

Know your personal choice, and when to say yes or no. This is the essence of setting emotional boundaries. For example, if someone demands your time or energy and you do not wish to participate, say "no" and if you choose, explain why. Causing a major confrontation isn't always necessary.

Watch for warning signals that trigger the need for boundaries. Various situations require you to set emotional boundaries. You usually receive warning signals. You may distance yourself from someone who is abrasive. You may prefer not to spend your energy on someone who does not live up to his word. If you notice someone is undermining you or putting you down, you may emotionally need to move completely away from the individual. Don't allow others to take advantage of you, treat you with disregard, or demean you. If you maintain healthy emotional balance, you are taking a giant step on the path to your power. You gain great strength in your emotions and mental health each time you stand up for yourself and protect your emotional well-being.

Decide how to set the boundary. If someone crosses your emotional boundaries, you may choose to address the issue outright and work toward a mutual understanding and solution. Or you may decide to quietly set your boundary through limiting your time with that person or being involved in a particular situation. You might also find removing yourself from a toxic environment is necessary. Take time to define your boundaries and seek a solution that allows you to maintain self-respect and live authentically.

Make healthy boundaries a part of your life. Your spiritual boundaries help define your soul's growth. As you pursue your spiritual journey, you will know your truth in your heart. Love, kindness, generosity, and healthy support for your fellow travelers become part of your life as you experience your inner power, joy and peace. Setting boundaries in your spiritual life includes making time to pray and meditate, getting involved with causes that are dear to your heart, cultivating your divine relationship with God or your Divine Source, and living fully in your truth.

Written with the help of: How to Set Personal Boundaries
blog comments powered by Disqus