Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Out of Probation - Day 40

Who can deny that 40 is significant? As I was researching the meaning of the number 40 today, I found that this number is generally understood as the “number of probation or trial.” For example, in biblical texts, the Israelites wandered for 40 years, Moses was on the mount for 40 days, 40 days were involved in the story of Jonah and Nineveh, Jesus was in the desert fasting for 40 days and there were 40 days between Jesus’ resurrection and ascension. And I can't forget that 40 is one of my favorite songs by U2! So how does all of that translate to today, to the now of my last 40 days of juice feasting? Well, I suppose that this has been my time of testing, trial or probation. Although it has hardly felt that daunting, it has been a time of separateness and deep personal awareness. It has been a test of my commitment to my own health and a trial to see if I can go the distance. This juice feast has never been something I take lightly and I believe that it is so much more powerful than just the mere fact that I drink juice exclusively everyday.

The more that time goes by, the more I realize that there is much deeper work going on inside me. Each day it seems as though there is another piece of my puzzle that is beginning to fit into place. That which was uncertain in my psyche before now seems more clear and well defined. Professional questions and areas in which I've vacillated without clear direction are now becoming less abstract and a definitive plan is starting to emerge with no forcing or conflict. Opportunities, synchronicities and what I believe to be Divine interventions are starting to become almost commonplace as opposed to a rare supernatural occurrence. Daily life has beautiful little burst of magical chemistry that both delight and humble me beyond words.

Today I had one of those happenings. It was a story I won't recount at this time, but it moved me to tears. I felt an overwhelming sense that God's hand was upon my life and that He was moving things in ways that I had not recognized or felt before. On the inside, I fell to my knees in a spirit of gratitude and awe. Where there was uncertainty, there is now peace, where there was once fear there is now hope and where there were doubts, confusions and insecurities......there is just the feeling of love and acceptance of what is.

This first 40 days for me has been a very special time. A bold journey deep into myself and now back out again with new perspectives and with a new sense of joy. If I were to end my feast today, I would feel like I have experienced far more than I could have expected, but I have a deep knowing that my time is not yet complete. My strong intention is to complete the full 92 days, yet I am choosing to simply take it one day at a time. And for those of you who have been following my journey...I want to deeply and sincerely thank you. Your support has meant everything. I hope you'll stretch your legs and move around a bit because there is more of a ride ahead!


Michelle said...

Beautiful post Penni. I am so thrilled for you. Making it to 40 days is wonderful but more than that you have made it to a new deeper understanding of who you are, your true essence and it is shining out even stronger then it was before. It is a beautiful transformation taking place right before our very eyes. It is a privlege to be a part of it.

taste memory said...

Your post is an incredible insight to the spiritual journey you are experiencing....and I can totally relate. Your transformation as you mentioned the word 'supernatural' is definitely happening! You are glowly truly from the photos and also from your words.

I have been enjoying reading your posts....they have been so encouraging, look forward to keeping up with all that is happening with you ;-)

Thank you!

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful, open, sharing post. I can feel your humbleness at all that is happening within and around you. If you've experienced this much after 40 days, I can only imagine what beauty, wonder, and knowledge are ahead for you.

Lots of love to you, Penni. Thanks for sharing your journey with us!


Ginny Edwards said...

Hi Penni,
This post truly resonates with me as I am entering day 33 of my juice feast. I had initially planned on 40 days because I sensed that was what God was calling me to. But now I feel He is telling me to lead a "fasted life" and I'm going to continue to pursue juice feasting as a part of that new lifestyle. I love your analagy of the 40 days and I'm looking forward to continuing with you on this journey! God Bless you as you seek to live in a higher place.

Ginny Edwards, Founder
Times of Refreshing Wellness Center

Keely said...

I've fallen behind on my blog reading because of new duties, but am catching up with yours today.

What a difference in those pictures, and your posts are always a pleasure to read.

I can hardly wait to hear your report on what the TV crew thinks of your transformation at the end of the 92 days! I really wish I could see that interview!!!