Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Releasing - Day 60

I am feeling pretty excited to have made it to Day 60. I have to admit that I am generally pretty upbeat in my blogs, but tonight it is a struggle to even submit an entry. It is a fact that we all have days when we get tried or pulled to the breaking point and today was one of those days for me. Without going into too much detail, my challenge happened this evening with my daughter, Gabby, almost 15 years old. She has had a lot of the normal drama that happens when one is in the 9th grade and it is really hard for her, as she is a kind, dear, introverted soul. All of this has to do with a boy, heartbreak and lots of tears....shed by us both. I remember how tough these years were, and now I am wondering if it's just as hard for me to watch her going through it all, not being able to do much more than just love her unconditionally. I do believe the saying that there is no love like a mother's love. It just hurts so much to see your baby grow up and watch as they begin to experience the realities and injustices of this life. If I could I'd trade places with her, but I know she has to walk this path herself.

So, for Day 60 I get a lesson in letting go. Releasing my control and releasing my daughter to live her life, holding on to the faith that I have in God to lead, guide and direct her along her way. Also a lesson in letting go of my own emotions and just trusting. Believing that I have taught her as best I can and allowing her to make her own choices now, learning as she goes the lessons we all have to learn. She is not my possession, she is just my beloved gift, in my care for just a short while now. Today I pray for peace in her heart and for angels to surround her with protection and guidance.

Tuesday's Daily Juice:
1.5 qt. strawberry, coconut water, blood orange juice & spirulina
2 qts. celery, kale, dandelion greens, red bell pepper, asparagus, onion sprouts, garlic, carrots, lime, sea salt.


Lisa (Pixywinks) said...

Your daughter is very, very lucky to have a sympathetic ear and a mom she can talk to about her troubles.

Boyfriend pain is the worst, but she will get through it fine with a great mom like you.

Pixy Lisa

Anonymous said...

Awww, I feel sad for her. *HUGS* to you both. It's such a difficult age, especially for those with kind, loving hearts. I hope things brighten for her very soon.

What you've said about being a mother is so very true. You are a lovely mother, Penni. It's so wonderful that she was open to sharing her pain with you--many kids don't share things with their parents.

I'm learning the "letting go" thing right now (my daughter is almost 13). It's tough to do sometimes when we just want them to be safe from everything hurtful out there.

I hope this morning you are both feeling a lot lighter in your hearts.

Lots and lots of love to you,


p.s. That's a beautiful image you've chosen for your post.

Candice Davis said...

Congratulations on 2 months of juice feasting.

I'm learning similar lessons with my 17 yo daughter, as she's graduating high school this year. It was tough to minimize my influence as she chose a college. It's been tough not to be able to do anything when she has tough times with her friends.

It sounds like you 2 are very close, and regardless of the challenges life brings her, she has a safe place to come for love and support. What more could a daughter ask for?

JulieK said...

Penni, I SO feel where you're coming from. My 13 year old has had some tough times in this past year as well, and there's nothing worse as a mother to feel that you're helpless, that you can't just put a band-aid on it and make it all better like when they were little.

You're a wonderful, loving Mommy and I'm sure you mean the world to her. Even though this is a difficult age, I believe it's also the biggest opportunity for us to be our daughters' rocks!

Thank you for being open about this situation. I also have stepchildren 18 & 21 in the house so the drama seems never ending and at times & I feel like I'm gonna lose it. It's nice to share with another Mom who goes through the same things!

{{{big hugs}}}

<3 Julie

Michelle said...

What a wonderful lesson despite how painful it can be. There is such growth in releasing control. I am very proud of you and to be honest I aspire to be more like you in raising my children. I am still working on letting go and giving up control When I grow up I want to be just like you!

Congrats again on making it so effortlessly to day 60. Keep on rocking.

Much love,
xo Michelle xo

Linda Salas said...

We all had to go through stuff, life is a learning process. It´s so amazing that she can count on you to be there for her. I really wish this all goes away (sooner rather than later as it will go away anyway).

Much love to a lovely mom!

HafTone Photography said...


I won't get into how lucky your daughter is to have you because I think most of your support system has let you know that. I will say this, I know Gabby and I think you are so lucky to have her as a daughter. You both have walked a path that hasn't always been easy as you try to fight the good fight for your beautiful daughter.

Her feelings are real and your unconditional love to let her have those emotions is the power to help her overcome.

I love you both.


Anonymous said...

By taking the time and showing the love that you did last night and every day will bless your daughter in these trying years. I was that teen many years ago but I had no one to talk to.
I still have a big hug for you, I'm saving it for my next trip down.

Pearly said...

With tears in my eyes, love in my heart, and a wish for all of our children to have a blessed and gentle transition into adulthood... You have brought to my attention my own struggles watching my daughter with "growing pains" and my own desire to be a more loving and supportive mother.

Anonymous said...

Hey dear,
I just want to send you a hug and let you know that I think you are wonderful and your daughters are blessed to have such a wonderful mom. By getting closer to God again and eating a plant based diet and living foods has really helped me feel sympathy again and be able to be happy for kids who have wonderful moms like you. Before that I would just well up with tears and self pity, my dad who was basically my only parent died when I was 14 and my mom was no mom. Now I can be happy for you and yr daughter for your closeness your growth and everything. She will be fine and she is truly blessed to have a wise mother like you. Love to you all xo Dea