Monday, April 7, 2008

Real Progress - Day 38

I've been holding on to this dandy photograph, keeping it under lock and key, but since today was an uneventful day with little to share but the excitement of finally weighing less than I have in over 5 years, I thought I'd unleash this classic fat photo of me for your viewing entertainment. No....I'm not pregnant here. This picture was taken at my mother-in-law's funeral, just last August. I'm not sure which one of my naughty brother-in-law's snapped it but.....there I am graveside, looking like I'm expecting a toddler. I suspect I weighed about 180 pounds at the time this was taken. Today I weighed in at 149....Can I get an AMEN?

I think seeing this photograph was my own personal AHA moment. I mean look at how bloated I am, not just in my stomach, but in my face as well. I seriously look like I swallowed a beach ball. Looking at it makes me laugh out loud now, but I promise you that when this picture was sent out over the internet to all my relatives in the funeral photos, I was horrified.

When I first went raw, almost three years ago, I lost a nice amount of weight. I think I lost about 20 pounds in the first three months of being totally raw. From my memory, the lowest I ever got down to was 151. I am just over 5'7, so that's not a weight that would be considered out of the normal range. However, I am extremely small boned, so the "experts" have always suggested that I shoot for somewhere around 125 - 135, which is my current weight goal. So how did I get from 151 back up to 180 late last summer? I did the whole yo-yo thing that so many raw foodists do....have great success and feel great eating raw and then get lazy or go back to emotional eating and the addiction of certain cooked, savory foods during times of stress. Nana Shelton's funeral was the last of four funerals last year.....we lost 4 close family members from February through August and I just let myself go to food as my comfort. I am not embarrassed anymore, those were just the facts and that's how I chose to deal with it.

The only other time in my adult life that I weighed under 151 was during the "dark years." I refer to the dark years as the time when I was a newly divorced single parent, a salon/spa owner and I was addicted to diet pills and diuretics. I hardly ate anything all day and then at night I'd have a bowl of Campbell's soup and a half bottle of red wine. I looked good but I was chronically exhausted and in a constant state of crankiness and stress. There wasn't anything healthy going on in my life during those years, so I only share it now as a point of reference of how far I've managed to come.

I have had a request from one of my regular readers for more pictures of me on the blog. I doubt that this was the picture they had in mind but it tells a story. I have asked my sweet husband if he would take some new shots of me tomorrow so we can compare and get a visual of the progress. Remember....I am just over a third of the way through this juice feast, so of course I am still "under construction." I am hoping that the new photos will show the changes in my skin and features as well as some recognizable weight loss. It is so exciting that I can actually see my bone structure surfacing now. I said hello to my ribs a few weeks ago.....I hadn't seen those old friends in a long time :- )

Enough with all of this for today....tune back in tomorrow for pictures, part 2!

Things I juiced today....
apples, pears, celery, bok choy, pineapple, cilantro, limes, romaine, cucumber, radishes, onion sprouts, jalapeno, red bell pepper, parsley, green onion, garlic, lemon, carrots, asparagus.
4 Quarts in total.
I also had some Spirulina, Hemp Oil, Probiotics, MSM, VitaMineral Green and I had a colonic.


Anonymous said...

I know I keep saying it, but it's true! You are such a Beautiful Soul!! I'm sending you the biggest eye-popping hug through cyberspace:) Love ya gurl!


1 Raw Girl said...

All I can say Is Thank GOD for the Dark Years/Times cause it gets us to the Light Ones! And now that its here(serious undeniable transformation) it makes it all worth it! I love it all! The dark, The light, the whole beautiful thing. I cant get enough of this journey called Life...its so freakin brilliant! :)

Thank you for sharing "the pic", you beautiful girl you!

Hanlie said...

How truly amazing! I have just finished a post where I call the years between my divorce and re-marriage my "lost" years. Unlike you, I only gained another 60 pounds in those years...

Thank you for sharing your pic. You're right, it does tell a story. Well done for recognizing your "aha" moment and making the necessary changes.

Anonymous said...

Oh Penni,
22lbs that is fantastic!

Its so great that you are strong enough to look at old chubby pics and have a sense of humor and prespective. In that pic, yes theres a tummy but you're still cute. I absolutely loathe my fat pics, and believe me there are decades worth. I love your spirit, attitude and writing...I am down 18lbs and hope to go more, I feel as though I am plateauing though, may need to start exercising more. Thank you for sharing this picture and story. Big hug n' lots of love Dea xo

Lisa said...

You are so inspiring! Thank you for posting. I am thinking about trying the juice diet and am gearing myself up for it. Your words have helped a lot.

Bob Bush said...

I really hate cameras! Normally I snarl, and threaten, and then attack the camera, tearing it to pieces. They never capture a person's heart. My friends know better than to point a camera my way as they always get a picture of a finger.

OK, I'll give you an "AMEN"! Now take a moment and send a hug to that person in the picture so she can get excited about the wonderful person she is, and about the fantastic person she becomes! Her life is just starting to unfold!

Keep it going!

taste memory said...

thank you for sharing this incredible journey ~ you have inspired me to include juicing in my daily schedule now!

I've been consistently juicing for the past several weeks...yum(big deal for me!) and feeling/weighing in so much better.

Best to you...

Anonymous said...

You were still so beautiful before your recent transformation, Penni--so very, very beautiful!

Thanks for sharing some of your journey with us. It is truly inspiring. I think we all have some "dark yars"; I'm thankful they are in the past for me.

I'm looking forward to more pics!

Lots and lots of love to you,


MARYYX said...

Hi Penni
It is amazing, isn't it, to watch how we change. It is so apparent to me now that I was skinny in the pictures I posted last night, as a visual for my story of "Hiep and the Egg" - yet at the time I was suffering from the illusion that I was hopelessly fat.

I've been thinking of posting a picture from my daughter's wedding. I was so horrified when I saw them. It was being so bloated at that time that set me on the path of making some major changes. Yes I was fat - but I was also having a serious problem with water retention. All the docs wanted to do was put me on water pills - and I knew in my heart that was not going to resolve anything long term. Even short term, it didn't do much.

You are amazing, Penni. Keep up the good work. I am going to turn my daughter-in-law on to your blog. She has a serious problem with IBS, and actually recognizes that diet changes could help - but doesn't believe she could give up the carbs. She is a "vegetarian" who doesn't much care for vegetables. A high proportion of her diet is refined carbs, including sweets. She is not overweight - but is not healthy.

I digress -
KUDOS to you!

Michelle said...

Isn't it amazing to look at those old pictures and see someone you don't really recognize? You can see a glimmer of the true you in there but there is so much extraneous stuff (literally and figuratively) that it's like wearing a mask, or in some cases a fat suit.

It is so wonderful that you are shedding all of that and honoring your wonderful spirit, learning about what triggered you and moving beyond it. You are so strong and yet so soft at the same time. What a wonderful combination. Thanks for a wonderful post.


JulieK said...

Penni, you're doing fabulous beautiful lady! What a journey, and isn't it profound knowing that your body and quality of life have been raised beyond that of any diet, any pill promise, or any media-driven image? Keep on going, I'm going to be referring to your blog and inspirations when I am ready to juice!

<3 ya, Julie

About Me said...

You seem to have come so far! I'm so overjoyed to read and see the wonderful changes that are happening for you - you deserve it!!

Anonymous said...

A big AMEN! (as requested!) Your honesty and openess is so welcome in this world. So many of us hide unflattering photos and unflattering habits. It seems like the more you open up, the more inspiring you have become. With your blog you are encouraging others to open up and bloom, just like we see you doing!!

Anonymous said...

I'm sure it was your German "brother-in law" who took (and posted)that photo. Your new photos look beautiful. I miss you!!! Love, Brownie